Life is funny sometimes, and everything is happening as it should. This is the only time I’m going to speak of him. I’m not going to go into details. I’m not going to disrespect him either. What I will speak of is, that I finally see the connection! Like a long line connected to this very precise moment in my life, the reason why I can laugh now.
We met 2 years ago. I wasn’t looking for anything, I was too busy struggling with some things in my life. Like my religion, my health, my personal relationships with friends and family, business, but mostly my health. Then we met and spoke, we became friends or so that’s all I thought of it at first… He was a piece of my life that was supposed to happen. The boost I needed. Let me tell you why.
Before I met him I was in a rut, like in a serious rut! Years of being in a rut… My health issues made it worse, because it gave me hormone imbalances and just deeper health issues internally. Now check this out! His presence in my life Changed Everything! Lol. This is why I’m laughing now, about it all.
If I never would have met him:
I would have never found religion and believed in God again!
I would have never took the steps to study this religion, which led me to a strong sisterhood, and introduced me to a vast variety of herbal remedies, and a different way of cooking!
The cooking and new discovery of herbs led to a slow process of healing my body! I am doing better now than I have been the last 8 years.
I would have never found out what true love (BEING IN LOVE!) felt like, and believed that it was possible. I would have never known what it felt like to unconditionally love someone outside of my immediate family.
Which actually led me to trying harder on building a stronger relationship with those who matter most to me. My family and I are stronger than ever. My brothers actually come and ask me for advice now, and want to hang out. Before, it wasn’t like that.
That led me to putting more effort into my business and being more creative! Because I was already trying to be creative with my brothers to build that relationship.
Being creative led me to write again, and built that passion and fire within me. With all those things combined I started gaining confidence, momentum in everything! I got courage! I started a blog!
Lol, blogging led to some amazing opportunities I never would have thought of. I rejected them all, but now I see the possibilities!
I am in a really good place in my life to let anything get me down right now. I got more out of this experience with this man, than I could have asked for. Yes, it still hurts and I do miss him. In retrospect, he did a whole lot for me, and I have to respect this decision he made. Even though I still wonder what happened… But, I’m okay with it. It will take a while for me to stop missing him. And just because I’m available now, Does Not Mean I Am Available! (I had to say that for the crazy men sending me emails thinking I’m vulnerable, naïve and need a man to step in.)
The only thing I really wonder about is, if I will ever have such an amazing Cerebral and Spiritual connection with anyone else. He was the first I ever had that with. I haven’t before and I won’t now, settle for anything other than that. Especially knowing now that I can have that with someone. There is always Positive in a Negative, as there is Negative in a Positive. Don’t become stagnant, look at the big picture. Learn and grow!
I hope this helps someone reflect on their situation(s).