With Karen Viramontes 6.
Through out the years I’ve seen people including myself (at one point), publicly display these 3 things in any form of outlet… Good or bad it was all out there for others to see. Giving others permission to draw conclusions about us. To give them the right to judge us, and spread gossip. After all, they can confirm their gossip by directing people to one of the outlets we may have used, just to verify what they had said, to be true.
Seems crazy how we unknowingly at times, give strangers so much power and permission over our lives. And then there’s the people who love the attention so they do it purposely. Well, my intention is not to focus on those people (that seek attention), but to dissect Why you should keep these 3 things private, to Empower us!
1. Love Life.
Privacy is always nice in the form that it shows respect to your partner. But, also a good thing because it gives you time to really get to know each other, without a 3rd party source convincing or controlling your actions and thoughts. You can build on communication skills, and understanding each other. Get to know how the other one reacts to difficult situations, as well as how you both work together in dealing with these situations. You are forced to really trust and depend on each other to a certain extent. So many good things can come from keeping your privacy. If you are willing to see that there will always be opportunities to improve, not just together but individually. What is it that the other one brings to the table?
In return this will show you how strong your relationship is. To see if the other person truly loves you and wants to work with you as a unit. To build a foundation for a future together. And if for some reason you can’t talk to your partner and need advice… Then make sure you go to a person or couple who have what you want in your relationship. Who have been together for decades! Happily! Who have made it work forever! Who have experience in a healthy, loving, relationship.
Because if you go to seek advice from a single friend or a couple who have been together for only 3 years or so. But, they are known for fighting, arguments, and speak badly about their partner behind their back. What do you think is going to happen? Their bad experiences with men or women is going to get into your head and trust, it will taint your mind. Those thoughts are toxic and will eventually seep into your relationship. The things you are thinking grow, and on top of that you keep letting people with negative experiences feed your mind…?
I’m saying these things out of love and experience. I don’t want people to go through what I’ve gone through, or what I’ve seen. I thank God my eyes were opened and I’ve changed. And if I can do it, so can you. If you haven’t already.
And this leads me to the kicker! What I call Keeping the upper hand in the situation that it doesn’t work out between the both of you. It’s okay, it may hurt, but it’s okay. Because, you never publicized anything to anyone about your relationship. Sure, the other person may try to spread rumors or blame it all on you. But remember, you gain so much more power from this, let me explain.
- No one will ask you anything about them because they don’t know anything, from your end.
- If they blame you, no one will believe them because you’ve never said anything about them.
- If you’ve lived a certain lifestyle then they won’t believe them. In the end it will only show what kind of person they are.
- Your silence will kill them and their rumors won’t grow because you’re not feeding the fire.
- Out of the rumors you will find out who is who. Friends, family, associates, so on. By what they say to others or how they speak to you.
- This gives you time to go through the emotional process of breaking up, and the things you may hear. Time to work and focus on yourself!
- The actions you take from that point forward will speak volumes of you, far more than responding to the negativity and hate.
*Now, I want to point out that you can implement these same lessons and rules to anything in life, not just relationships.
You don’t need to tell anyone anything, let alone prove yourself. You don’t owe them nothing, and they don’t owe you anything. The way you carry yourself, the lifestyle you live, and the people you surround yourself with will all speak for you. See, because no matter what you say or do people will always judge you, and label you.
Let me show you. People will always judge you no matter how much money you make. Because you will either make too much money or not enough. You will be automatically labeled.
If you make 1 million, you’re selfish, you’re conceded, lucky, spoiled, born with a silver spoon, have an ego or they don’t believe you! Because real millionaires, smart one’s, now a days don’t flaunt what they make. Now, if you’re a thousand-aire, if that’s even a word. Those people flaunt and live beyond their means. Trying to live a life they can’t afford, for what? Don’t worry they are equally labeled as well. Im sure you can figure out those labels and the judgements people will pass on them.
I can go into more detail here, but I think I’ve made my point. It’s really that simple.
3. Next Move
Same rules and lessons apply here, the only difference is that this is to protect you and your mind. Your dreams and goals. You don’t need naysayers to divert you from your path, your focus. Because those are your goals, dreams and life. Not theirs, remember this saying.
“People will always judge what they don’t know and understand.”
I say this to myself every time I encounter someone who is trying to dampen my spirits. Besides, who are they to tell me what I can or can not do? And just because it may have not worked out for them, doesn’t mean it won’t work out for me. Maybe my drive and hunger is stronger than their’s was when they tried. Maybe, just maybe I was destined to do this and make it.
Protect your mind, not everyone needs to know your next move. Your actions and accomplishments will always speak louder for you. So don’t put yourself in a situation where you give ammunition to others to use back on you. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone, as a matter of fact, they need to prove themselves to you.